Off to Amsterdam, then to the States

I’m in the Kuwait International Airport right now waiting for my flight to Amsterdam. I’ll have a nine hour layover there and plan to take one of the tours they offer from the airport. One of my co-workers told me that they check your flight itinerary and based on that they tell you where you can go that will get you back to the airport in time for your flight. They might take you to the canals or to a museum or to see a windmill. I’m a scaredy-cat, so I’m nervous about leaving the airport. But I really want to be able to say I’ve “visited” my homeland. Well, Amsterdam isn’t my homeland, but I’m from the Netherlands, so at least it’s home soil.

This whole thing sort of came up unexpectedly. I wasn’t planning to go home for a few more months. By then I’d get to see my grand babies, and spend time with the new one, and see my friends. But I had to get maternal on my Daughter-in-Law and since she was early with her other deliveries I decided to go home to be sure that someone would be there if the baby wanted to be early. I’ll only be there until June 7^th, by that time my daughter will be in town and she can take over the vigil. If the baby hasn’t been born yet, I won’t ever see him until he has already started walking and maybe even talking because it will be 10 more months before I can go back home again. But at least I know that between my daughter and I, someone will be there if they have to rush out in the middle of the night, and the boys will be able to stay home with someone they know will take care of them. My son said he wanted me there just in case, and when I talked to my daughter-in-law, she said she thinks she will be a couple weeks yet, but will be happy to have me home. Well… Cool. I’ll go home.

Well, after landing in Amsterdam, I found out that the tours were not open until 8AM, and they needed at least 4 people to make a tour. So, chicken that I am, I just shopped in the airport. And ate. And drank. :)

If I have a need to get away again, I’ll go somewhere I’ve wanted to visit, like Egypt or Thailand or Bahrain. I’ve got some good information on visiting Egypt, so I think that will be where I’ll go next. It’s about time I actually did some travelling. After being in Iraq as long as I have, I have never visited anywhere other than home and Canada. Time for me to diversify! I’ll have to go alone I guess, so I need to start getting that mindset that I’m perfectly capable of traveling in third world countries by myself. Well… Maybe I can find someone who will go with me.

It’s almost time to board, so I’ll end this for now and finish it after I get home.

Toki Sio!!

Malo e lelei! Hello! I’m home and happy as a pig in… mud. I came home with a different attitude… I understand that you can believe that is true and think you are different and when it comes down to it nothing changed. (The Proverbial BUT!!) But, I have been doing some very deep soul searching, and I am starting to see how I react to things and what makes me tick.

On my flight home there was a baby who had the biggest set of lungs I’d ever heard, there was wailing, screaming, non-stop noise. My instinctive reaction was, “Oh great, just my luck to have that screaming brat on my plane, the 9 hour trip is going to be my undoing!” Then, I started to realize that the baby was not trying to be my undoing, it was hungry, tired, scared or sick. I started to feel compassion for the infant. I have to be honest, that was the last I noticed of it. The parents were able to calm it down, it went on a different flight or it just plain didn’t bother me anymore. The same with the three babies on my 2 hour flight home.

Someone cut me off in traffic today, I spewed contempt at them, and then I stopped myself and realized I had done things like that before and that I had no right to judge that person based on one moment in time. I silently apologized and moved on.

Did I “see the light”? Did I “get religion?” I’ve been trying to absorb a book my lead let me borrow. Here is an excerpt, taken out of context, it may not shed any light, but it meant something to me:

“A body in uniform motion will remain in uniform motion until it is acted upon by force.” What does “uniform motion” mean in terms of a human Life, and what is the “force” that alters that motion?...

It goes on to describe a very bitter man named Gregory; a “white, middle-class, college educated man from the Northeast. His childhood was emotionally difficult, and he grew up angry, manipulative, and bitter. He was incapable of forming relationships, and his violent temper and argumentative nature kept people at a distance. This further increased Gregory’s disdain for Life and for other people, but he did not stop to ask what role he played in his experiences…

When, at last, his temper and disagreeable disposition caused the woman that he was living with to leave, Gregory fell into a deep anguish not only because of his loss, but also because he recognized in this latest event the repetition of a long-standing pattern in which he found himself, in each instance, suffering from rejection. He determined to confront both his pain and his pattern…”

By committing to that, he changed his life. The “force” that altered “the uniform motion” of his life, was to enter into his life consciously, if he had not done so, he would have continued on that same course.

Now this might not mean anything to many, or it might mean everything to a few, it meant something to me. I know that I am in a “uniform motion” heading for… I don’t know what future… but by “force” I plan to intervene, and I will assist in where I eventually end up. I “will” myself to be more compassionate, to not react negatively to things around me, to find the love inside myself and the forgiveness and the ability to ask for forgiveness as well. I’m sure I will have a rough journey, but I ran into it, like a wall. I don’t pretend to think I will all of a sudden be a wonderful person, but I will eventually be tolerable and have the ability to be loved and to love.

If you are interested, the book is called “The Seat of the Soul”, by Gary Zuvak.

“Every cause that has not yet produced its effect is an event that has not yet come to completion. It is an imbalance of energy that is in the process of becoming balanced.”